"Maryland, I'm coming home / Never worry about what I did wrong / And that I'll never be what my daddy wanted me to be / And I'll never see what my mama's dreams were / But I will sing / La la la la la la la la..." (-- Vonda Shepard, "Maryland")
When most people think of Maryland, they usually imagine crab cakes or "The Wire," right? But there’s more to the Old Line State than delicious seafood and drug deals, obviously. At least, that’s true of Olney, named one of the top 20 places to live in America by Forbes, and the only place in Maryland to earn such an honor (shocker!). There is one bummer about Olney: It takes fat stacks of cash to live happily here, and even then, finding a place to live may be as difficult as brokering peace in the Middle East. However, if you have good timing and have a great job, this is definitely the place to live, thanks to its walkable neighborhoods, retail and recreational amenities, and neighborly neighborhoods. Oh, and it would really help if you had at least a bachelors degree, since over 60 percent of residents do. Intimidated? Step away, sir; this almost-city is for winners only.
Moving to Olney is no easy feat
"Maryland, I'm coming home / Never worry about what I did wrong / And that I'll never be what my daddy wanted me to be / And I'll never see what my mama's dreams were / But I will sing / La la la la la la la la..." (-- Vonda Shepard, "Maryland")
When most people think of Maryland, they usually imagine crab cakes or "The Wire," right? But there’s more to the Old Line State than delicious seafood and drug deals, obviously. At least, that’s true of Olney, named one of the top 20 places to live in America by Forbes, and the only place in Maryland to earn such an honor (shocker!). There is one bummer about Olney: It takes fat stacks of cash to live happily here, and even then, finding a place to live may be as difficult as brokering peace in the Middle East. However, if you have good timing and have a great job, this is definitely the place to live, thanks to its walkable neighborhoods, retail and recreational amenities, and neighborly neighborhoods. Oh, and it would really help if you had at least a bachelors degree, since over 60 percent of residents do. Intimidated? Step away, sir; this almost-city is for winners only.
Moving to Olney
Moving to Olney is no easy feat. It’s harder to get a rental property here than in New York City. In some areas the vacancy rate is zero. Yes, zero. So planning ahead is the only viable option, and that still might not be enough. At its most welcoming, the vacancy rate is piddling. It may even come to moving to a nearby city on a semi-short term lease and waiting out on some old folks with poor diets. Seriously, people don’t move here, and they’re not building, so get comfy. Start planning a year in advance if you can.
That also brings us to other issues to consider. Do you have a good job ready to go? Are you an executive, manager, doctor, or professional of some sort? You'll fit in well if you are. Play dates and sippie cups are definitely welcome.
The thing that’s most striking about Olney to newbies from elsewhere is the sheer number of well-educated individuals. Education is important here, and not just to the oodles of homeowners with_at least_a bachelors degree (almost 30 percent have grad degrees).
Maryland weather is one more thing to mention, just in case youre not familiar with the East Coast. Weather is real here: it comes in four seasons and most of them are bad. Sure, Olney is inland from Chesapeake Bay, but humid summers and bitterly cold winters are standard. Invest in some turtlenecks and all-weather tires. Oh, and you’re absolutely going to need a car, even though a fair number of folks utilize public transit.
Neighborhoods
In Olney there are a few neighborhoods, but mostly theyre all really similar in makeup. There are a few nuanced distinctions between places like the downtown area, which helpfully has more rental options, and more suburban areas that are super quiet and probably a bit more judgemental about you hitting the bars during the week. Choose wisely.
Central Olney: Downtown is, naturally, the most urban environment here. In fact, there are historic bars, along with other beer-related attractions like the Olney Ale House. It’s also the least expensive area and has more apartment buildings with studios, one bedroom and two bedroom apartments, if youre into that. Commutes are long though.
Mount Zion: At the other end of the spectrum there is Mt. Z. Pricey, with huge homes and a nonexistent vacancy rate. It’s very suburban and quiet and perfect here. And it probably costs extra just to breathe the air.
Oakdale: It youre into attached homes, row houses and townhomes, you might think you've hit the jackpot with this neighborhood. But again those vacancy rates are a stumbling block. This area is more walkable though, and people here have much shorter commutes, so maybe its worth waiting a lifetime for?
Northeast: Pack your bags; we have a winner! With a downright cushy seven percent vacancy rate, this is really the only neighborhood you have a hope or a prayer of snuggling down in. No problem, because it’s awesome. People take public transit, its very walkable, and it has all those cute row houses you love.
Southeast: Well, you’re stuck with no available homes or rentals again, but students and younger folks will want to sit back and wait for this spot. It’s walkable, hip, and trendy with oodles of attached homes and apartments. It’s got plenty of college students too. Oh, and just shy of the average city price, which is really affordable here.
Living in Olney
Olney is a magical place. It has everything you could want, in an ideal location to raise a family amid green forests and smiling neighbors. It’s also magical because you'll need to practice witchcraft in order to find a way in. Sure, vacancy rates are impossibly low, but it’s worth the wait. Great culture, rich history, numerous recreational opportunities and a historic bar -- you really can’t get absolutely everything on your list without there being one drawback. So put your name in the lotto today, and cross your fingers, knock on wood, find a four-leaf clover or rub a redhead (thats lucky, right?); you'll need all the help you can get.
