Moving in Together? 12 Signs You’re Ready (or Not)

You can learn a lot about someone from their Spotify playlists, how they text when they’re tired, or whether they put ketchup in the fridge or leave it in the pantry. But nothing—nothing—reveals the true depths of a relationship like cohabitation.

Moving in together isn’t just about splitting rent or spending more time side by side. It’s a crash course in compatibility, compromise, and whose turn it is to buy toilet paper. So, how do you know if you’re ready? These 12 signs will help you figure out if it's time to merge addresses, or if you should keep enjoying the luxury of your own space a little longer.

12 Clear Signs You’re Ready (or Not) to Move in Together

1. Your Communication Is Solid.

When your communication is solid, you know you're one step closer to moving in together. While you may still have arguments from time to time, you know how to talk things through and resolve them. Here are some things to discuss before moving in together:

• Manage paying bills.
• Negotiate pet care and related deposits.
• Handle having friends over.
• Regulate family and friends staying over.
• Resolve a conflict about the apartment.

If you want to know, “When should you move in together?” the goal is to get on the same page about communication. To avoid any misunderstandings, you can even draft up a roommate agreement to stay on the same page.

2. You’re Moving In for More Than Money.

Sure, saving on everything from rent to monthly utilities is a win for couples living in the same space, but it shouldn’t be the only reason to do so. It’s easy to resent each other if money is the only reason you’re moving in together. Make sure you actually want to share your life and space before signing any lease agreements.

3. You Have a Plan for Sharing Expenses.

Some of the best tips for couples moving in together are figuring out expenses. As a couple, you probably already assume you’ll split rent. But what about utilities, deposits, groceries, rent fees, and any repairs that fall outside of your security deposit?

It’s also important to consider what to do if one of you earns significantly more than the other. It might make sense to split up costs based on a percentage of your income instead of a specific number. Make sure to put everything in writing so there is no miscommunication when expenses are due. A roommate agreement outlines everyone's rights and responsibilities, including how to split costs like rent and utilities, dividing household chores, and more so there’s never confusion about what to expect.

Need help budgeting for your first apartment together? Check out our essential guide for new renters: How to Budget for Your First Apartment (Checklist and Tips)

4. Your Habits Are Compatible.

While you and your partner may be the envy of your friends, will your habits mesh well? Consider if one of you is an early riser or prefers alone time, cooking at home, or going out until the wee hours of the morning. If your habits are significantly different, you may need to sketch out how you’ll manage sharing a space—or consider not moving in together at all.

5. There Aren’t Lingering Resentments.

Knowing when to move in together is a big step that often represents a fresh start. However, unresolved resentments and past hurts can strain your relationship once you share a home. Before making the move, take time to address any lingering issues, clear the air, and ensure you’re entering this new chapter with mutual respect and open communication.

6. You Both Feel Ready.

Some couples ask, “How long should you date before moving in together?” But it’s more about feeling ready. It’s not unusual for one person in the relationship to feel ready to share an apartment and the other to need more time. Pushing the issue can lead to a lack of commitment to the lease and trouble ahead. Wait until both people feel ready to move forward before moving into your next home together.

7. You Have a Plan for Emergencies.

Emergencies are always unexpected, but that doesn’t mean you can’t create a contingency plan for them. Come up with ideas for how you’ll plan for health issues, job losses, unexpected vet bills, or problems with the landlord. The goal isn’t to think of every bad thing that could possibly happen. Instead, it’s about setting aside some money and knowing where you can go for support without it spiraling into a crisis.

8. You Trust Each Other.

Living together as both a couple and roommates requires a deep level of trust. The issue could be as simple as whether you trust your partner to make rent on time or follow through on a commitment to cleaning. Of course, putting it all in a roommate agreement can avoid conflict to begin with. Talk to one another about moving past any previous betrayals or insecurities, or needing to constantly ask, “Where is my boyfriend right now?” Without trust, cohabitation can quickly become stressful.

9. You’ve Already Spent a Lot of Time Together.

How much uninterrupted time have you spent together outside of the fun of dating? You and your partner also need to have a better idea of how you handle long stretches of time in each other’s company. Consider a temporary living arrangement or traveling together for extended periods. Both are great ways to determine if you are compatible enough for apartment living and can tolerate each other’s quirks without frustration.

10. You Have Similar Ideas About Where to Live

Sit down and talk through expectations about where you want to live as a couple. Discuss your ideal living situation. If one of you wants to live on the outskirts in a small apartment to save money, while the other wants to live downtown, conflicts are bound to arise. Understand where the compromises will lie and what each is willing to give up in order to sign that next lease together. Aligning on location, amenities, and lifestyle expectations will set you up for success.

11. You Have an Outside Support Network.

You may be each other’s biggest support, but what about outside of your relationship? An outside support network—friends, family, or a community—ensures you both enjoy your own space outside of your apartment. It’s also wise to have a friend or relative you can stay with temporarily if there’s ever an emergency or an issue in the relationship.

12. You’ve Talked About Your Expectations as a Couple.

This decision can mean different things to different people. For some, it’s the ultimate commitment; for others, it’s a practical next step that offers convenience and cost savings.

Before deciding, make sure you’ve talked through your expectations as a couple. How serious is the relationship? What is the next step after you’ve settled into the apartment, if any? Clarifying expectations now will save time, resources, and heartache in the long run.

How to Make Moving in Together Work: 10 Must-Know Tips

If you’re ready to make the jump into moving in with your significant other, we put together some of our top tips for a successful transition:

• Have the big conversations first: Discuss long-term expectations, finances, and deal-breakers before signing a lease. Are you both on the same page about where this relationship is heading?
• Be honest about lifestyle habits: Talk openly about your quirks and how you’ll handle differences.
• Set clear financial expectations: Decide how you’ll split rent, utilities, and groceries. Will it be 50/50 or based on income? Also, discuss how to handle unexpected costs.
• Declutter before moving in: Go through your belongings together and decide what to keep, sell, or donate to avoid unnecessary clutter.
• Choose an apartment that works for both of you: Consider commute times, pet policies, storage space, and must-have amenities. The right space can help prevent future conflicts.
• Outline boundaries for shared and personal space: Set expectations for alone time, personal belongings, and quiet hours.
• Create a plan for conflict resolution: Decide how you’ll address conflicts—whether it’s a cool-off period, check-in talks, or another strategy that works for both of you.
• Keep romance a priority: Schedule date nights, surprise each other, and make intentional time to nurture your relationship.
• Discuss guest and social boundaries: How often is too often for hosting friends? Will family visits require a heads-up? Align on comfort levels to avoid tension.
• Have a backup plan: Talk about logistics in case things don’t work out—who moves out, how to handle the lease, and financial obligations.

Remember, moving in together should be an adventure but needs some proactive care to turn it into a rewarding experience.

Ready to Find Your Next Apartment?

Moving in together can be an exciting milestone and a win for everyone. You get to live with your favorite person, deepen your bond, and save money. The next step is finding the perfect apartment.

Whether you need more space in the suburbs or want to live a life of luxury downtown, we’ve got an apartment for every lifestyle. Start browsing our apartments today, or take our quick quiz to get started. With Apartment List, you’ll spend five minutes and save 50 hours searching.

Moving in Together FAQs

When do couples move in together?

There is no rule about when to move in together. A Stanford University study shows 50% of couples move in together after a year of dating, 25% move in after four months, and 70% after two years.

How long should you date someone before moving in together?

If you’re trying to figure out when do couples move in together, you should ask yourself if you’re ready. You should have open conversations about money, trust, chores, and expectations and make sure both of you feel the same way.

What conversations to have before moving in together?

Before moving in together, you and your partner should have conversations about splitting expenses, handling chores, daily habits, quiet hours, hosting guests, and what to do if you break up or someone loses a job. Although you can’t plan for everything, having big conversations and opening up the line of communication can help lay the groundwork for a successful cohabitating relationship.

When should you move in together?

You and your partner should move in together when you both feel ready and have talked through your expectations and long-term goals. It’s also helpful if you’ve tried living together temporarily or traveled together long-term to get an idea of what to expect.

Should I move in with my girlfriend?

Whether or not you should move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend depends on if you feel ready. Ask yourself if you can trust your partner in the relationship, emotionally, and for support. Make sure to have some big conversations about splitting rent and other expenses and what to do in an emergency.

How do you know when it's time to move in together?

You know it’s time to move in together when you both feel ready and have built a relationship on trust and communication. Talk through your budget, how you’ll divide rent, handle chores, daily habits, and how to handle emergencies or a break-up. If your communication is solid and you agree on expectations, you know you’re ready to move in together.

What is the 222 rule for couples?

The 2-2-2 rule for couples, that means that you should plan a date night every two weeks, a weekend getaway every two months, and a longer vacation together every two years. The rule keeps you focused on prioritizing quality time together to foster a healthy bond.

How fast is too fast to move in together?

There's no one-size-fits-all solution about how fast is too fast to move in together. A few weeks or a few months of dating is usually too fast to move in together. Most experts suggest at least a year of dating to make sure the relationship is compatible and everyone is comfortable with the decision before taking the next step.

How many relationships end after moving in?

Research has shown that over 50% of first-time cohabiting couples will break up within six years of moving in together. Of course, that doesn’t mean the odds are against your relationship. Instead, talk through your expectations as both roommates and your relationship, expenses, daily habits, and long-term goals to create a solid foundation for success.